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Note: You are viewing Special Jokes, which may not be suitable for all audience. These are just for fun, and above all, don't try to decide my character by reading these jokes. 
Blog > iSpecial Jokes You've Got a male!!
Posted on March 11, 10 @ 06:19 pm under iSpecial Jokes and has no comments.
Little boy: Dad how was i born?
Dad: Well, son ur mom and i got together at yahoo.
we set up a date via E-Mail and Met in a cyber cafe.
Ur mom agreed to "DOWNLOAD DATA" from my “PEN DRIVE ".
Just when i was about to "TRANSFER",
We realized non of us had "INSTALLED" a "FIREWALL"
It was too late to hit "DELETE",
nine months later a "POP-UP WINDOW" appeared
saying
"YOU HAVE GOT A MALE"
Installation of Husband
Posted on July 14, 09 @ 07:44 pm under iSpecial Jokes and has no comments.
A woman writes to the Technical support Guy,
Dear Tech Support ,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 .
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1 .
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2. 6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Woman
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DEAR Madam,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 , Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1 .
Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.
Good Luck Madam!
Warranty Expired
Posted on August 26, 08 @ 05:46 am under iSpecial Jokes and has no comments.
A Quality Engineer married an average girl
After 2 years of tough life with her, finally Engineer got angry and sent a note to father-in-law stating that
'YOUR PRODUCT NOT MEETING MY REQUIREMENTS'
The smart father-in-law replies
'WARRANTY EXPIRED. MANUFACTURER NOT RESPONSIBLE
Glenn Plan
Posted on August 26, 08 @ 05:44 am under iSpecial Jokes and has no comments.
A grade 5 teacher one day asked the children in her class to make rhymes with their names
First up was Dan. A very adventurous child.
My name is Dan,
When I grow up to be a man,
I want to go to India and Japan ,
If I can, If I can, If I can.
'Very good', the teacher said to Dan. She then asked Sally that it was now her turn.
My name is Sally,
When I grow up to be a lady,
I want to have a baby
If I can, if I can, if I can.
'That is good Sally,' the teacher said. 'But maybe one day you will change your mind.'
Next up was Glenn. He was the naughty one in the class . Here is his rhyme:
My name is Glenn,
When I grow up to be a man,
Never mind India and Japan ,
I'm gonna help Sally with her plan,
I know I can, I can, I can.
Miss Right
Posted on June 03, 08 @ 03:57 am under iSpecial Jokes and has no comments.
I married Miss Right. I didn't know that her first name was Always.
Take off my clothes
Posted on November 19, 07 @ 03:49 am under iSpecial Jokes and has no comments.
My wife came home the other night and told me to take off her blouse.
Then she told me to take off her skirt.
Then she told me not to wear her clothes anymore.
Before and After marriage
Posted on October 20, 07 @ 12:59 am under iSpecial Jokes and has no comments.
Before the marriage:
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don’t even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I’m not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
Now after the marriage you can read it from below to up !!!!
By all Means… MARRY! - Sayings
Posted on October 20, 07 @ 12:56 am under iSpecial Jokes and has no comments.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, “What does a woman want?
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
“Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.”
“I don’t worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.”
“There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.”
“I’ve had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn’t.”
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.
The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once…
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.
A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: “Wife wanted”. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: “You can have mine.”
First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!”
Second Guy: “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”
Indian moms
Posted on October 20, 07 @ 12:56 am under iSpecial Jokes and has no comments.
A young Indian man excitedly tells his mother he’s fallen in love and that he is going to get married. He says, “Ma, I’m going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I’m going to marry.”
The mother agrees.
The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while. Later, he says, “Okay Ma, guess which one I’m going to marry.”
She immediately replies, “The one on the right.”
” That’s amazing, Ma. You’re right. How did you know?”
The Indian mother replies,
…
….
….
….
…..
..
..
..
..
.
”I don’t like her“
Telegram
Posted on October 20, 07 @ 12:54 am under iSpecial Jokes and has no comments.
A daughter sends a telegram to her father on her clearing B.Ed exams, which the father receives as:
“father, your daughter has been successful in BED.”
************ ***
A husband, while he is on a business trip to a hill station
sends a telegram to his wife: “I wish you were here.”
The message received by wife: “I wish you were her.”
************ ***
A wife with near maturing pregnanCy goes to railway station to return to her husband. At the reservation counter, while her turn came, it was the last ticket.
Taking pity on a very old lady next to her in the queue, she offered her berth to the old lady and sent a telegram to her husband which reached as:
“Shall be coming tomorrow, heavy rush in the train, gave birth to an old lady.”
************ ***
A man wants to celebrate his wife’s Birthday by throwing a party. So he goes to order a birthday cake. The salesman asks him what message he wants to put on the cake. Well he thinks for a while and says:
Let’s put, “you are not getting older you are getting better”.
The salesman asks, “How do you want me to put it?”
The man says, Well put “You are not getting older”, at the top and “! You are getting better” at the bottom.
The real fun didn’t start until the cake was opened the entire party watched the message decorated on the cake:
“You are not getting older at the top, you are getting better at the bottom”.
************ ***
A man from Agra went to Ajmer. His wife was in her parent’s house in Delhi .
When the man went to Ajmer, he asked his servant to send a telegram to his wife indicating about his trip to Ajmer.
He sent a telegram. When the wife received the telegram, she fainted.
It was written: ‘Sethji aaj mar ! Gaye! (Sethji Ajmer gaye )
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