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Man, wife and dog
Posted on August 22, 09 @ 08:56 pm under Jokes and has no comments.
A man was leaving a cafe with his morning coffee when he noticed a most Unusual funeral procession A funeral coffin was followed by a second one About 50 feet behind the first. Behind the second coffin was a solitary man Walking with a black dog. Behind him was a queue of 200 men walking in Single line. The man couldn't stand his curiosity.
He approached the man walking with the dog, "I am so sorry for your loss, And I know now is a bad time to disturb you, but I've never seen a funeral Like this with so many of you walking in single line. Whose funeral is It?"
The man replied, "Well, that first coffin is for my wife."
"What happened to her?"
The man replied, "My dog attacked and killed her."
He inquired further, "Well, who is in the second coffin?"
The man answered, "My mother-in-law. She was trying to help my wife when the dog attacked and killed her also."
A thoughtful moment of silence passes between the two men. Then the first One asks in excitement, "Can I borrow the dog?"
The man replied, "Join the queue." 
Award winning poem
Posted on August 22, 09 @ 08:55 pm under Jokes and has no comments.
A COMPETITION ASKED FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH
THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THELEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE
This is the winner:-
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,
Marrying you screwed up my life.
I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.
Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.
I thought that I could love no other --
that is until I met your brother.
Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.
I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.
I love your smile, your face, and your eyes --
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!
My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?
My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe “'Go to hell.”'
What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts tequila, one part lime
August 17, 2009
Posted on August 18, 09 @ 06:11 am under Diary and has no comments.
There was a heavy rain in the evening. It rained for almost 3 hours. There was heavy traffic jam too. Right from Madhapur to Maredpally, the city highway was completely packed. I had bitter experience today. I became totally wet and it took 3 and half hours for me to reach my home.
August 15, 2009
Posted on August 15, 09 @ 05:55 pm under Diary and has no comments.
Happy Independance day folks. On this independance day, I felt excited when I was saluting our flag and singing the national anthem. In the memory of my mother, I gave a small donation to the government school, which she worked in, for infrastructure improvement. I wanted to tell this because, govt. schools need investments.
Swapna Swapna Venu Edo (Raavoyi Chandamama)
Posted on July 27, 09 @ 06:20 pm under Sing Along and has no comments.
M:swapna vENuvEdo sangEtam Ala pinche
F: suprabhAtavEla shubhamasthu gali vEche
M: jOdyinA rendu gundela yEka talamO
F: jOrainA yavvanAlalO prEma gEthamO
M:lElEthA pOla bAsalU
F: kAlEvA chEti rAtalu
M:swapna vENuvEdo sangEtam Ala pinche
F: suprabhAtavEla shubhamasthu gali vEche
M:nEde prANam nEve sarvam
nEkai chEsA vennela jAgAram
F:prEma nEnu rEyi pagalU hArAlallE mallelu nE kOsam
M:kOti chukkalU ashTa dikkulU ninnu chUchu vela
nindu ASalE rendu kannulyi chUste nE rAnA
F:kAlAlE AgipOyinA
M: gArAle mUga bOvunA
F: nAlO mOham rEgE dAham
dAchEdepudO pilichE kannullO
M:vOde pandhem gelichE bandham
rendU okaTe kalisE janTallO
F:manishi nEDa gA manasu thOdugA
maluchukunna bandham
penu tufAnulE yeduru vachinA chErali E teeram
M:vA rE vA prEma pAvuram
F:vAledE pranaya gOpuram
M:swapna vENuvEdo sangEtam Ala pinche
F: suprabhAtavEla shubhamasthu gali vEche
M: jOdyinA rendu gundela yEka talamO
F: jOrainA yavvanAlalO prEma gEthamO
M:lElEthA pOla bAsalU
F: kAlEvA chEti rAtalu
M:swapna vENuvEdo
sangEtam Ala pinche
suprabhAtavEla
shubhamasthu gali vEche
A potato story
Posted on July 14, 09 @ 07:53 pm under Uncategorized and has no comments.
A kindergarten teacher has decided to let her class play a game.
The teacher told each child in the class to bring along a plastic bag containing a few potatoes. Each potato will be given a name of a person that the child hates, so the number of potatoes that a child will put in his/her plastic bag will depend on the number of people he/she hates.
So when the day came, every child brought some potatoes with the name of the people he/she hated. Some had 2 potatoes; some 3 while some up to 5 potatoes.
The teacher then told the children to carry with them the potatoes in the plastic bag wherever they go (even to the toilet) for 1 week.
Days after days passed by, and the children started to complain due to the unpleasant smell let out by the rotten potatoes.
Besides, those having 5 potatoes also had to carry heavier bags. After 1 week, the children were relieved because the game had finally ended.
The teacher asked: "How did you feel while carrying the potatoes with you for 1 week?"
The children let out their frustrations and started complaining of the trouble that they had to go through having to carry the heavy and smelly potatoes wherever they go.
Then the teacher told them the hidden meaning behind the game. The teacher said: "This is exactly the situation when you carry your hatred for somebody inside your heart.
The stench of hatred will contaminate your heart and you will carry it with you wherever you go. If you cannot tolerate the smell of rotten potatoes for just 1 week, can you imagine what is it like to have the stench of hatred in your heart for your lifetime?"
Disable Printscreen, context menu and text selection on webpages
Posted on July 14, 09 @ 07:51 pm under HTML and Javascript and has no comments.
To disable printscreen, context menu and text selection on webpages. use this body tag
<body onload=setInterval("window.clipboardData.setData('text','')",2) oncontextmenu="return false" onselectstart="return false">
33 Facts about Guyz
Posted on July 14, 09 @ 07:48 pm under For Your Information and has no comments.
*Believe it or not.......
1. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls. they prefer neat
and presentable girls. (*correct in most cases)
2. Guys hate flirts. (is it ?? not always i guess)
3.When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply means you're not
thinking the way he is.
4. Guys may be flirting around all day but before they go to sleep,
they always think about the girl they truly care about (very very true, but its equally difficult to believe)
5. When a guy really likes you, he'll disregard all your bad
characteristics. (love is blind)
6. Guys go crazy over a girl's smile. ()
7. Guys will do anything just to get the girl's attention.
8. When you touch a guy's heart, there's no turning back.
9. When a girl says "no", a guy hears it as "try again tomorrow".
..... so true.
10. You have to tell a guy what you really want before he gets the
message clearly.
11. Guys love their moms.
12. A guy would sacrifice his money for lunch just to get you a couple
of roses. (how stupid :-) )
13. A guy often thinks about the girl who likes him. But this doesn't
mean that the guy likes her. (multitasking aint only a girls domain)
14. You can never understand him unless you listen to him.
15. If a guy tells you he loves you once in a lifetime. He does. (just notice the tone)
16. Beware. Guys can make gossips scatter through half of the face of
the earth faster than girls can.
17. Like Eve, girls are guys' weaknesses.
18. Guys are very open about themselves. (mostly)
19. It's good to test a guy first before you believe him. But don't let
him wait that long.
20. Guys hate it when their clothes get dirty. Even a small dot.
21. Guys really admire girls that they like even if they're not that
much pretty. (love is blind)
22. If a guy tells you about his problems, he just needs someone to
listen to him. You don't need to give advice ... (guys are authoritarian).
23. A usual act that proves that the guy likes you is when he teases
you.... (very true)
24. Guys cannot keep secrets that girls tell them.
( I don’t believe this one.)
25. Guys think too much.......disputed
26. Guys fantasies are unlimited.
27. Girls' height doesn't really matter to a guy but her weight
does! ... very true.
28. Guys tend to get serious with their relationship and become too
possessive. (So watch out girls!!! )
29. Guys are more talkative than girls are especially when the topic is
about girls.
30. You can truly say that a guy has good intentions if you see him
praying sometimes.
31. If a guy says you're beautiful, that guy likes you.
32. Guys hate girls who overreact. (yeah....)
33. Guys love you more than you love them IF they are serious in your
relationships.
Doesn't this all make sense?
Installation of Husband
Posted on July 14, 09 @ 07:44 pm under iSpecial Jokes and has no comments.
A woman writes to the Technical support Guy,
Dear Tech Support ,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and I noticed a distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0 .
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as NEWS 5.0, MONEY 3.0 and CRICKET 4.1 .
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 2. 6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Woman
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
DEAR Madam,
First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If that application works as designed, Husband1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Silence 2.5 , Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1 .
Please note that Beer 6. 1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0 .
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.
You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance.
We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Looks 7.7.
Good Luck Madam!
Evergreen Lovers :) Tutumon & Tintumol
Posted on July 14, 09 @ 07:41 pm under Jokes and has no comments.
To ,
Tintumol
UKG A.
Dear Tintumol,
I love you. My dream I see you. Everywhere you. You no, I live no.
I come red shirt 2morrow. You love I, you come red frock. I wait down
mango tree. You no come, i jump train. Sure come...
yours lovely,
Tutumon
Std 1 B
_________________________________________________________
Reply....by Tintumol....
Darling, your letter mama see. Papa beat me beat me so many beat me.
I cry. i cry. So no come to mango tree. No jump train. I love you.
See another day. I no red frock. Only green.
You love me, you love me you green shirt. Give I gift. I see you with pinkumol.
Where you go.. NO talk to her. Okay My dream also only you
Lovely
Tintumol...
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